The Connected Child: Bring Hope and Healing to Your Adoptive Family Audiobook
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I will be giving this book as a gift to every new adoptive parent I know. Can't wait to cease it, probably this weekend. I stayed upward until three:30am reading it last night...
...moreHere'southward a few of the gems I institute personally beneficial:
1)A lot of my girl'south behaviors that bulldoze me insane aren't her personality--information technology'southward a effect of where she began and are coping/survival mechanisms. I actually was surprised at how many behavio
I read this volume because I have an adopted daughter that I am struggling to connect with. I thought it was exceptional. There were several chapters applicative only to adopted and foster children, however the rest of it I would recommend to whatever parent.Hither'due south a few of the gems I found personally beneficial:
1)A lot of my daughter'due south behaviors that drive me insane aren't her personality--it's a upshot of where she began and are coping/survival mechanisms. I actually was surprised at how many behaviors they listed that my daughter does, almost word for word. It makes information technology easier to exist empathetic (another matter they stress).
2) I actually liked Ch. 5--"Teaching Life Values." It was nifty considering it gave articulate, usable strategies (backed up with research)that are things I could instantly implement.
iii) Ditto that with Ch. half dozen--"You Are the Dominate." I've already have been trying a lot of their recommended corrective approaches with my girl. What surprised me at beginning, is that even though I stay calmer, she gets more than mad. Especially when I make her do "re-dos." It does make sense though. Before I would just yell at her and then we'd motility on, now it'due south much more involved and requires her to reply to me and practice, and takes fashion more of her fourth dimension and energy. Notwithstanding, I have high hopes that it will help. I know yelling won't help a thing.
4) I read Ch. 7--"Dealing with Defiance" out loud to my husband. Definitely things we programme on using there.
5)I also thought it was useful that they directed two chapters in particular to the parents. They gave overviews of dissimilar parenting styles(ie permissive, administrative, or authoritarian)--I'thou definitely authoritarian and avoidant. Yeah, I need to piece of work on that. It just gave perspective on how parents accept issues to work on as well.
...moreThe surprising humble,and highly emotional pie I ate while reading it was this: Dr. Purvis is kind to advise the kind of parenting it takes to successfully parent children from "hard places" is just that: mere kindness. The fact is, her parenting strategies would brand every child a happier, more continued, more than well adjusted child.
And if every parent practiced the kind
The framework of this volume is parenting children who come from any kind of difficult past or transition, adoption, trauma, etc.The surprising apprehensive,and highly emotional pie I ate while reading information technology was this: Dr. Purvis is kind to advise the kind of parenting it takes to successfully parent children from "difficult places" is but that: mere kindness. The fact is, her parenting strategies would make every child a happier, more connected, more well adjusted child.
And if every parent expert the kind of parenting she suggests, well, the globe would exist a better place. We'd all exist much more effective, loving parents.
I highly recommend this book for ANYONE dealing with emotions or behavior in kids that your current strategies but aren't fixing.
The best example of how I was challenged was her suggestion that "sometimes to be an constructive parent, you lot have to be willing to leave that full cart of groceries." Following through works, but whining, pleading, begging and bribing don't teach annihilation.
Love this, and will refer to information technology again and over again.
...more thanNoteworthy quotes:
1- Too often parents and experts look at behavioral disorders as if they they existed separate from sensory impairments, separate from attending difficulties, separate from babyhood deprivation, neurological damage, attachment disorders, post traumatic stress; and and then on. You should take a more holistic arroyo Should be required reading for adoptive parents. However, there were many things I highlighted that will aid me in being a improve mom to my biological children as well.
Noteworthy quotes:
one- Likewise oft parents and experts await at behavioral disorders as if they they existed separate from sensory impairments, carve up from attending difficulties, separate from childhood deprivation, neurological impairment, zipper disorders, mail traumatic stress; and so on. Yous should have a more than holistic approach considering nosotros know from a wealth of scientific research that a infant'south neurological, physical, behavioral, and relational skills all develop and emerge together. An infant needs more than but food and water and a roof over his or her head to abound; he or she needs close physical human contact and social interactions to develop optimally.
2- Time-outs are a common form of bailiwick, but this strategy backfires with a special needs child, esp. i who has been adopted or who has zipper difficulties. Isolating that child just reinforces her deeply ingrained experience that she can only rely on herself and that she is alone confronting the world.
iii- The goal is for a kid to interrupt his or her own misbehavior at the point of intention, instead of parents interrupting a misbehavior at the signal of activeness. ...more than
Only we'll probably be fostering teens. And this volume is serious when it says "child" in the championship. I call back the give-and-take "teenager(south)" was mentioned all of three times. And the highest age of a kid profiled was ten or 12. I'm not sure how techniques for young children will work for youth. Simply there are some larger strategies
My life partner and i are working on becoming foster parents. So we aren't in the thick of things yet and aren't sure what to await. Equally a event, i establish this book insightful.But we'll probably be fostering teens. And this book is serious when it says "child" in the title. I think the word "teenager(s)" was mentioned all of three times. And the highest historic period of a kid profiled was 10 or 12. I'yard not sure how techniques for young children will work for youth. But there are some larger strategies and outlooks here that will likely yet exist useful.
If you lot want teen-specific information, this probably isn't your source. But if you're open to younger ages, this is likely incredibly helpful.
...moreEvery bit future adopting parents with no kids yet, we are and so encouraged and thankful for this book. It provides much insight and helpful resources for what potential difficult situations as you learn to parent - not but for adopted kids but Whatsoever kids yous may parent (including biological). This volume helps you see and learn how to residue correction and nurturing so your child tin acquire to be respectful and loved/loving!
For a CASA grooming on trauma-informed advocacy, I watched footage of Purvis'due south squad's therapy camps, and it's amazing. If you want to employ some of the ideas from this volume, I'd highly recommend checking out that TCU stuff if you tin can observe it--the examples in the books are slap-up, but I feel and then thankful to have these images of Karyn Purvis downward on her knees, doing animate exercises with a child, or going through "scripts." Some of information technology sounds like it could be kind of goofy, merely seeing her doing it, and seeing kids responding to her doing information technology, shows how it can piece of work. It's pretty inspiring. I'k actually lamentable that she's gone. I as well call up that seeing her in activeness helps to frame some of the stuff she says near authority and respect, some of which sat kind of uneasily with me, but which makes sense when it comes to establishing a safe, nurturing, and consequent environment for a kid (i.e., information technology's not about the parent asserting ability just for the sake of showing who'southward boss, which is absolutism).
The book doesn't talk about cross-cultural competencies or the ways that whatever number of circumstances of a detail child might be shaped by all sorts of contingencies. The absence is peradventure a product of her focus on developmental psych and the science of attachment, simply it's also extremely of import and feels like a big thing not to address. Most makes me want to bring my rating down to four stars.
This peradventure goes without saying, but the volume is about adoption rather than foster care, and I take some questions about whether and how some of the recommendations would be different. Just scripts are astonishing. I've been using versions of "effort again" for the last few weeks, and wow!! It's been so helpful.
...more(1) This volition be a helpful resource for the intended audience: "For parents who have welcomed children from other countries, from troubled background, and with special behavioral or emotional needs."
I wouldn't map the concepts of this book onto *all* parenting situations.
(2) The book is helpful but as a Christian there are a number of places where I'd desire to supplement / edit / pushback a chip. Doesn't mean this isn't a useful resource—and I certainly don't demand eve
four stars with ii caveats:(1) This will exist a helpful resource for the intended audition: "For parents who accept welcomed children from other countries, from troubled groundwork, and with special behavioral or emotional needs."
I wouldn't map the concepts of this volume onto *all* parenting situations.
(2) The book is helpful but as a Christian at that place are a number of places where I'd want to supplement / edit / pushback a bit. Doesn't mean this isn't a useful resources—and I certainly don't demand every book be written from an explicitly Christian perspective before it's helpful. But I raised a few flags throughout.
And so, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ in general and with the specific, intended audition in mind (and for those wanting to empathise and serve and walk abreast those in the intended audience).
⭐️⭐️⭐️ given the various places I'd want to supplement every bit a Christian.
⭐️⭐️ for parenting in general exterior of the specific, intended audience.
...moreEvery bit a side note, the parenting strategies presented throughout the book should exist how ALL children are parented, not only adopted children. The concepts seem so logical, yet so foreign at the aforementioned fourth dimension. I cannot imagine the difference it would brand if all children were raised with therap
This book is a must-read for anyone welcoming a child through adoption. It is full of astonishing ideas to help your at-run a risk child thrive, and I loved all of the examples and stories used to demonstrate each concept.As a side annotation, the parenting strategies presented throughout the book should be how ALL children are parented, not only adopted children. The concepts seem then logical, all the same so foreign at the same fourth dimension. I cannot imagine the difference information technology would make if all children were raised with therapeutic parenting!
...more thanAll of that wrapped with, y'all're going to want to think about and try these things.
Later on the by and large dark tone of Adopting the Hurt Child, this volume was exactly what I was needed. It kept proverb, "Yes, this will be tough," and "Yes, you'll be fine," and "Yes, your child will be precious."All of that wrapped with, you're going to want to think about and effort these things.
...more thanRelated Manufactures
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